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Challenging Behaviours in Autism: Helping Children Cope When Overwhelmed

MARCH 2, 2026

Table of Contents

A sudden classroom schedule changes without warning and six-year-old student, Aiden, freezes. His breathing quickens and within seconds, he’s yelling and pushing his chair away.

To someone watching, it might look like defiance. But what’s really happening?

For many children with autism or intellectual disabilities, behaviour is communication. When language, regulation, or coping tools aren’t yet in place, big feelings can come out as big behaviours. And when we shift from “why are they doing this?” to “what are they trying to tell us?” our response changes, often in ways that reduce distress and improve safety over time.

When Behaviours Become Unsafe

Some children have fewer coping tools or a lower tolerance for stress. When they feel overwhelmed, their distress can escalate quickly. This may result in behaviours that affect their safety, the safety of others, or their ability to participate in learning and relationships.

While many children benefit from classroom or group-based strategies, those approaches are not enough for every child.

Alyssa Goldberg, one of the Autism Clinical Supervisors at Surrey Place, explains that not every child responds to standard behaviour strategies. She says, “when support is tailored one-to-one, children begin to understand their own feelings, and staff can respond in ways that keep everyone safe.” In these situations, a more individualized, systematic approach is needed, one that prioritizes dignity, safety, and skill-building.

Understanding Practical Functional Assessment and Skill-Based Treatment at Surrey Place

At Surrey Place, we begin with the understanding that behaviour tells us something. When we listen carefully, we can respond with compassion and structure instead of punishment or blame.

To support children with complex behavioural needs, we may use Practical Functional Assessment and Skill-Based Treatment (PFA/SBT).

Developed by Dr. Greg Hanley and supported through training and coaching from FTF Behavioral Consulting, PFA/SBT is a trauma-informed, compassionate framework designed specifically for individuals with autism or intellectual disabilities who experience severe problem behaviours.

It is important to know that PFA/SBT is not a service families sign up for directly. It is a methodology used by specially trained staff within one-to-one clinical settings.

PFA/SBT isn’t about stopping behaviour. But as Stasia Rossinsky, Clinical Supervisor, says, “it’s about understanding when it’s happening and teaching safer, more effective ways to cope.” This approach focuses on:

  • Ensuring safety and dignity
  • Building trust and rapport
  • Supporting autonomy wherever possible
  • Bringing moments of joy and connection into learning

Starting with Safety: Happy, Relaxed, and Engaged

A cornerstone of PFA/SBT is ensuring a child is happy, relaxed, and engaged, before introducing challenges or expectations.

If a child isn’t regulated, they can’t learn. We make sure they feel safe and connected first. That foundation changes everything.

Alyssa Goldberg, Clinical Supervisor, Autism Services

By prioritizing regulation and trust, staff create an environment where children are ready to practice new skills, instead of reacting from distress.

Another key concept is understanding how to “turn on” and “turn off” behaviour responses and knowing when to intervene and when to allow space. This consistency reduces anxiety and helps children predict what will happen next. Over time, predictable and calm responses build trust.

When staff respond consistently, children start to trust the environment. That trust opens the door to real learning.

Stasia Rossinsky, Clinical Supervisor, Autism Services

Supporting Children Through Difficult Moments

Using PFA/SBT, clinicians work closely with children in individualized, one-to-one settings. With strong clinical oversight, children gradually practice tolerating small amounts of frustration or change, always within a safe and supportive framework.

Children learn to:

  • Communicate what they want
  • Tolerate delays or changes
  • Persevere through manageable challenges

The goal isn’t just to reduce behaviours. It’s about helping children feel safe, regulated, and understood. Even small moments of progress can be huge wins.

Alyssa Goldberg, Clinical Supervisor, Autism Services

Rather than focusing only on stopping behaviours, the emphasis is on teaching skills that transfer across settings at home, at school, and in the community.

Who Benefits Most from This Approach

PFA/SBT is most effective for:

  • Children with autism, intellectual disabilities, and complex behaviour needs
  • Children whose emotions regularly escalate into unsafe behaviours
  • Situations where individualized, one-to-one support is possible

This approach is not designed for large group settings, where close safety monitoring and individualized pacing may not be feasible.

Family Tip:

If your child experiences big feelings that lead to unsafe behaviours, talk to your care team about whether individualized, one-to-one strategies may help.

Seeing the Child Behind the Behaviour

Challenging behaviours are rarely about defiance. More often, they signal overwhelm, frustration, or unmet needs. When children are given tools instead of consequences, safety instead of shame, and structure instead of unpredictability, meaningful growth becomes possible.

Big behaviours come from big needs, and with the right support, children can learn safer, more effective ways to cope.

Approaches like PFA/SBT reflect a shift in how we understand behaviour: not as something to control, but as something to understand. By working closely with families, clinicians can help children build regulation, communication, and coping skills that foster greater safety and confidence over time.

What This Means for Your Child’s Support

Because PFA/SBT is highly individualized, it works best when support is consistent and guided by strong clinical oversight. At Surrey Place we invest in training and ongoing coaching, so families experience safer, more predictable support over time.

With over 100 staff trained in PFA/SBT across the organization, our focus is on helping children build coping and communication skills in ways that protect their safety.

If your child is experiencing challenging behaviours, connect with our team to explore individualized support options. When you contact us, you can ask about one-to-one clinical supports for children whose behaviours can become unsafe.

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By 2 months

Has your baby had their hearing screened? YES NO

By 6 months

Does the child?

Startle in response to loud noises? YES NO
Turn to where a sound is coming from? YES NO
Make different cries for different needs (hungry, tired)? YES NO
Watch your face as you talk? YES NO
Smile/laugh in response to your smiles and laughs? YES NO
Imitate coughs or other sounds such as ah, eh, buh YES NO

By 9 months

Does the child?

Respond to their name? YES NO
Respond to the telephone ringing or a knock at the door? YES NO
Understand being told no? YES NO
Get what they want through using gestures (reaching to be picked up)? YES NO
Play social games with you (Peek-a-Boo)? YES NO
Enjoy being around people? YES NO
Babble and repeat sounds such as babababa or duhduhduh? YES NO

By 12 months

Does the child?

Follow simple one-step directions (sit down)? YES NO
Look across the room to a toy when adult points at it? YES NO
Consistently use three to five words? YES NO
Use gestures to communicate (waves hi/bye, shakes head for no)? YES NO
Get your attention using sounds, gestures and pointing while looking at your eyes? YES NO
Bring you toys to show you? YES NO
Perform for social attention and praise? YES NO
Combine lots of sounds together as though talking (abada baduh abee)? YES NO
Show an interest in simple picture books? YES NO

By 18 months

Does the child?

Understand the meaning of in and out, off and on? YES NO
Point to more than 2 body parts when asked? YES NO
Use at least 20 words consistently? YES NO
Respond with words or gestures to simple questions (Where's teddy? What's that?)? YES NO
Demonstrate some pretend play with toys (gives teddy bear a drink, pretends a bowl is a hat)? YES NO
Make at least four different consonant sounds (p ,b, m, n, d, g, w, h)? YES NO
Enjoy being read to and sharing simple books with you? YES NO
Point to pictures using one finger? YES NO

By 2 years

Does the child?

Follow two-step directions (Go find your teddy bear and show it to Grandma.)? YES NO
Use 100 to 150 words? YES NO
Use at least two pronouns (you, me, mine)? YES NO
Consistently combine two to four words in short phrases (Daddy hat. Truck go down.)? YES NO
Enjoy being around other children? YES NO
Begin to offer toys to other children and imitate other children's actions and words? YES NO
Use words that are understood by others 50 to 60 per cent of the time? YES NO
Form words or sounds easily and without effort? YES NO
Hold books the right way up and turn the pages? YES NO
Read to stuffed animals or toys? YES NO
Scribble with crayons? YES NO

By 30 months

Does the child?

Understand the concepts of size (big/little) and quantity (a little/a lot, more)? YES NO
Use some adult grammar (two cookies, bird flying, I jumped)? YES NO
Use over 350 words? YES NO
Use action words such as run, spill, fall? YES NO
Participate in some turn-taking activities with peers, using both words and toys? YES NO
Demonstrate concern when another child is hurt or sad? YES NO
Combine several actions in play (puts blocks in the train and drives the train, drops the blocks off.)? YES NO
Put sounds at the beginning of most words? YES NO
Use words with two or more syllables or beats (ba-na-na, com-pu-ter, a-pple)? YES NO
Recognize familiar logos and signs involving print (Stop sign)? YES NO
Remember and understand familiar stories? YES NO

By 3 years

Does the child?

Understand who, what, where and why questions? YES NO
Create long sentences using five to eight words? YES NO
Talk about past events (trip to grandparents house, day at child care)? YES NO
Tell simple stories? YES NO
Show affection for favourite playmates? YES NO
Engage in multi-step pretend play (pretending to cook a meal, repair a car)? YES NO
Talk in a way that most people outside of the family understand what she/he is saying most of the time? YES NO
Have an understanding of the function of print (menus, lists, signs)? YES NO
Show interest in, and awareness of, rhyming words? YES NO
Read to stuffed animals or toys? YES NO
Scribble with crayons? YES NO

By 4 years

Does the child?

Follow directions involving three or more steps (First get some paper, then draw a picture and give it to Mommy)? YES NO
Use adult type grammar? YES NO
Tell stories with a beginning, middle and end? YES NO
Talk to try and solve problems with adults and with other children? YES NO
Show increasingly complex imaginary play? YES NO
Talk in a way that is understood by strangers almost all the time? YES NO
Generate simple rhymes (cat-bat)? YES NO
Match some letters with their sounds (letter b says buh, letter t says tuh)? YES NO